ONE PAGE: The Petals Fall Twice by Chip Zdarsky.
(The One Page Series is where I post a single page from a work-not-in-progress.)
I don’t even…
My Guardian Angel. Done by Oni Tattoo in Salt Lake City, Utah artist was Phil
Homework is important, but I made this powerpoint instead you know?
Here is my feature sleeve my close friend did for me. I have always loved the sea so thought why not get a tattoo to show this.
Dear guy who just made my burrito:
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients from one end to the other, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM TO GET TO LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans cannot usually dislocate their jaws to accommodate such methods. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito and not a multi-stage rocket to the planet Fucking Disgustingupiter.
And guess what else, player? You can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer this nonsense. You and I already know this tortilla was made to maintain its physical integrity for thirty seconds once touched.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
Zo mah gawd :|
(Source: fuckyeahtattoos)
This one was submitted by the artist himself, Craig Spearing. I love it, look at her facing off against that thing. Look at that thing. Look at her. Fearless, jeez.
I know it’s another picture of Eowyn but I’m sorry I can’t get enough of Eowyn. The guys are all, “bitch stay home” but she sneaks along anyway and ends up, you know, only being the only one that can kill the m-fin’ Witch King of Nazgul. The WITCH KING of NAZGUL. I would’ve stayed home, I tell you what.
Arwen was just some elf-princess with daddy issues. Should’ve gotten with a real woman, Aragorn. Boner move, there.
You guys you guys omg check out all these Eowyns (thanks, mcnerd).
Hi, again. I posted this like a week ago, but the picture was really shitty and you couldn’t really see the colours. Posting it again, now in slightly better quality!
It’s even more beautiful now that it’s healed. Couldn’t be happier.
Done by Thomas @Hjärtat av Guld tattoo in Malmö, Sweden.
More of his work at www.hjartatavguld.seSubmitted by me, www.thephilosophyoftimetravel.tumblr.com
This is my boyfriends tattoo that was done at Crazy Gregs in Heidelberg, Germany. The tattoo artist is his best friend Max Laloi. Everytime he gets a new tattoo his best friend Max draws something for my boyfriend and if he likes it he keeps it as a lasting memory in ink on his body. This particular tattoo took 4 hours and portrays a woman in cascet.
Got this tattoo of an audio amplifier circuit. Signifies two things, my background as an engineer and my love for music. Got it done by Steve at Lucky Monkey Tattoo Parlour in Ann Arbor, MI
